"Hey BA - we heard you're
back to your usual a-whole self -
Were you really cutting leashes at The Shores and at one of the
other kook breaks where you surf?"
Absolutely!
I figger that about 10% of the surfers at The Shores are competent
surfers.
These guys [and girls] know how to swim, how to avoid crashes
and they use their leash as a bonafide piece of surfing equipment -
used to save them from a long swim in if the surf is big and the rip is
goin' half way to the Cortez Bank.
I figger that about 50% of the surfers at Black's and Wind**Sea
are competent - depending upon the conditions.
What this means - at least in my opinion - that most of the surfboards
in the water are tied to the leg of a kook, or even worse, an idiot.
This mass of kook-dumb idiots use the leash like I used my crutches
when my legs or ankles have been broken.
I couldn't get around [walk] without 'em.
The majority of surfers in the water - notice how I've gone from
The Shores / Wind**Sea / Black's to - all surfers everywhere - use their
leash as a crutch - and not as a piece of surfing equipment.
I bet that if only competent surfers were allowed to use a leash
[if they chose to] and that one had to prove water and wave knowledge
[gained by swimming - body surfing after one's board] before they were
allowed to use a leash - what a wonderful world it would be!
The leash would then become - I think -
"Dude aren't you WAY
too efffffing old to be able to still think?"
a tool, to be used as designed - ??? - for safety and ding prevention.
Imagine - going surfing where everyone in the water knew how to
hold on to their board, how [and why] to paddle AROUND THE BREAK, how
[and why] you gotta take it on the head sometimes if you're caught inside
-
Yeah baby - It would be like Christmas everyday for BA!!
"So A-Whole, why were you cutting leashes?
Why didn't you get punched - or maybe you did - you still got
last week's shiner!"
It's easy my children - I have a bunch of $10 bills in the pocket
of my Wind**Sea Surf Club trunks. I ask the cuttee if I give him ten
bucks, will he allow me to cut his leash - only so he can prove his
waterman's skills.
So far - a couple have taken the bait - they went in after their
first wipe-out - the rest simply paddled-in 'cause apparently I challenged
their manhood.
After all - I am the ALPHA MALE in the water - just kidding!!
So kids - if you see me in the water - and you think you can surf
without your tether / crutch - and you want to earn a quick 10 bucks
- I've got my leash cutting tool in my pocket - it's sharp and ready
to cut [leashes]!
Later -
BA
LOOK MA!!!!!---no leash, and I lived to tell about it!!!
Go to BA's rant on ignorant kooks
Notes from the Editor regarding the Leash
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