Last month [December, 2003] was a real doozie!

Dr. Phil performed two root canals on my teeth, I caught the flu, and I was served my divorce papers on the 31st.

I was thinking that maybe, just maybe, those events would mellow me out a little for the new year after all, I'm still employed, and since the garnishments on my wages have been reduced by about 30% - I'm rolling in dough now with my newly improved net income - I'm almost above the poverty level!

But no effing way did the year get better!!

For me, December, January, and February, are the worst months for ease of surfing, even though the waves are usually very good.

Black's is always best in the afternoons, but its a bit of a hassle for me to get there in the PM, and I'm not really to keen on surfing AM Black's with 7' high tides.

Crack O Dawn surfing means about 6:15 AM, rather than my preferred 5:00 AM go outs in the spring and early summer.

So, I made the big mistake of surfing The Shores, last weekend, between nine and ten AM.

What an effing joke!

One of my friends was taking off on a wave, and he got the super hack.

My friend tried to avoid the collision, but he ended-up ramming the kook!

When the kid - about a 15 year old popped up - I said, "Hey Little B*** Ram, don't you EVER look before you take off?"

Kid says, "NO!!"

I said, "If you EVER hack me, like you hacked my friend, I'm gonna spank you, and sue your parents for being negligent!"

[probably not a good idea to threaten the kid with a spanking - I'll end-up in a cell next to Michael Jackson]

The kid paddled away, and I didn't see him again, that day, anyway.

When I came in, I went to Chuck's Memorial and started thinking about the little hack f**k of just a couple of hours ago.

I'm thinking:

"BA, what would have happened forty years or so ago, if you had hacked Butch, Tiny Brain, or Crazy Jim Fisher, and said in response to their query about why the no look, responded: 'I never look!'"

I think their response would have been a little less verbal than mine, and much more physical!

I'm thinking - [ouch, this thinking stuff hurts my brain]

"What's the difference, really, between surfing in a crowded line-up and driving a car?"

My opinion is simply:
You hack me in the water - it's the same as if you ran a stop sign or you ran a red light - you my friend, have just committed a major infraction - ticket time!

And, by the way, you GOTTA learn the faces, and surfing skills of those in the water with you!

If you are surfing ANYWHERE in the world when the waves faces are about 6 feet or so, and you're sitting in the channel, you ain't sitting deep.

Just because you THINK you are in the pit, look around - if the best surfers are sitting 50 yards or so closer to the peak than you are, then you are NOT in the pit, you are an effing shoulder hopper!

In this photo of me, taken by Geoff Pastusack, I took-off about 50 yards south the shoulder hoppers stroking for the horizon.

Why were they sitting there, did they really think they were in the right position?

Either get better, go home, or quit surfing ANYWHERE I'm surfing!