What the hell is going on with this place, anyway?

Who the fuck is in charge of this chaos?

I could always surf clean water at Boomer like Martin Darby and the La Jolla High Surf team back at the turn of the
1960's--but wait--it's off limits to surfers because the lifeguards want it for their own bodysurfing private beach!

View video of Martin Darby and the La Jolla surfers at Boomer Beach, circa 1961

Who the fuck are these people to come to my town and turn it into an overcrowded, overpolluted, traffic congested miniature Beverly Hills???

Where did these people come from?

Were they all watching the PGA tournament in February of every year on TV when the sun
was out here and they were freezing their asses in their house in New York or Minnesota or Canada
when we were frolicing in the Surf without THEM? So they move here with their wife and kids and dog and pet gold fish
and come to my beach to eat their burgers, fries, pizza and beer and when they leave, leave all their litter
on the sand and in the water. I know they're affluent because they're fat and drive big cars to carry
their fat asses around to and from their big house on the hill and their table at the Beach and Tennis Club.
And their little fat rugrats go out into the water without any knowledge of the basic water skills and expect the lifeguards
to rescue them when they get caught in the undertoad. I say, "let 'em drown, survival of the fit."

Did their sweetheart friends tell them about Us when they met at the Boyz Club in Frisco or West Hollywood,
so they all jumped on the next train south to our fair-haired city of brotherly love where they frolic at
Blacks Beach to suck dick and take it up the hershey highway on the beach while we ride the waves?
I remember in the 60's when the only dick-sucking was done by sweet young skinny girls on their boy friends.
Now, I go down to Blacks and see these fat, old, ugly women parading on the beach with their tits hanging down past their loins, hiding their
private parts--thank the Lord for small favors. And the men--I use that word, but Governor Arnold would say "sissymen",
90% per cent of them parade their alcoholic bellies and puny penises along the water's edge as if they had some attributes to admire.
I remember when some of the finest women this side of St. Tropez would lie out naked on the beach at Blacks and you
could hold a nice conversation with them--until the sexual perverts started trolling the beach and walking up to these
ladies with their Thing fully exposed beneath their full-belly and shit-eating grin. These fuckin bisexuals chased most
of the good talent off the beach and left them to carouse with their male buddies, while the straight arrows no longer
had the beautiful women to adorn the beach. I remember all this with a sad fondness of days of yesteryear as our
fair City gluts and rusts and pollutes and decays in the name of Progress.

Where the fuck did these people come from??? Did somebody clone them? Were there termites in their house that ate the
walls to their closet so they had to stumble out into the light and down to one of the epic beach breaks of the World?

Did Ant, the South African surfer who visited us in the 60s, tell them of our spot so they all moved across the
ocean to our humble abode of laid-back individuals and brought their high-anxiety, heavy-stress existence to our beachtown?

Have scientists discovered some aggressive Asshole gene, where a person is driven to outperform his brothers, sisters,
mates, friends, and other lesser personalities, so that he gathers all the money he can get, all the power he can get,
until he has sufficient means to move to La Jolla with his family, where he practices his skill? I mean, if you put
an Asshole in a mult-million dollar house, he is still an Asshole, only he lives in a multi-million dollar house. The man
is not his two thousand dollar suit. Take him to the beach, sans suit, and he is wearing his Asshole skin. Basic law of
physics. And if he is out of his house, down at the Beach, he is fair game for the Loco Local. Basic law of Nature.

I mean, what the fuck happened to this place? Did they move in when I was out surfing?

I am pissed! I now know what the Hawaiians feel and how the native americans feel.

I think I feel like that old coot felt in the 50s that lived next to us in the Shores when we moved in next to him and started
raising hell--until my dad took the belt to us and straightened our asses out to respect those who came before.
So we learned how to behave and how to instruct those misdemeanant friends of ours how to behave--most of the time.

But at least we cleaned up after ourselves, didn't speak on cell phones in restaraunts or libraries,
and respected the town and the Locals. Something has got to change. Call out the Local Local now!!!

I'm too old for this Shit, my grandson is too young for it, and my kids have moved their fat Asses to Lake Michigan
where they have alienated the locals, for them to take care of it---let L.L. do it.

Oh well, time to get out of bed, if I can roll my woman off me, have some tea and a bagel, and go for a surf.